Marching To Your Own Drum: Emphasizing Your Child’s Individuality

Building My Islands of Competence

Marching To Your Own Drum: Emphasizing Your Child’s Individuality

Your Child Is A Mini Human

Sometimes it’s hard to look at your child and not see them as the precious baby that you brought home from the hospital. It’s difficult thinking about the moments when they would prefer to start standing on their own two feet without your guidance or help, but these moments will be pivotal situations and experiences that your child will need to grow their mind, bodies, and souls. They are “mini-humans” – they speak, listen and learn the same as you do, they just need a little push to do so. That is why it is important to allow your child the opportunity to stand on their own two feet and find what their interests, preferences, and dislikes are without your interference or judgment. To foster your child’s individuality.

Emphasizing Authenticity

When your child looks at you for help or advice, the overwhelming feeling of protecting them from all bad and hurt may take over in your mind and the advice you give may feel more like a warning than a friendly gesture, but that is not what your child is asking for. Your child needs an ear to listen to their worries, a shoulder to cry on, and a voice to cheer them on, but they do not need someone who will limit their positive or negative experiences based on the fear of letting go. Children tend to want to grow into their own at a rapid pace, and as a parent, it may feel strenuous to sit back and watch from the sidelines knowing that there are an endless amount of choices and opportunities for your child to follow.

This is why raising your child with the goal of allowing themselves to truly get to know their identity and blossom into their authenticity is key to ensuring that they walk through the world with confidence and empathy. As a result of freedom of judgment, your child will find that their unwavering sense of self may be the trait that they rely on heavily throughout their growing phases.  

Support Through The Good & Bad

It’s no lie, when your child is going through a rough time it’s hard to not want to step in and fix their very solvable problems, but this prevents your child from learning how to produce solutions for their issues and find their methods of handling their business. 

Although these issues can range from learning not to jump in rain puddles to discovering how to dress themselves in the morning, it is critical that you – as the parent – learn how to take a step back and let your child find their problem-solving solutions on their own. Yes, that includes watching them pair that fancy dress shirt with their basketball shorts. When you allow your child to find the ways in which they express themselves through trial and error, you will see that they are way more resourceful in their abilities to use critical and creative thinking skills than given credit for. The ability to find small wins in everyday challenges is an accomplishment that your child will be able to revert to even in their adult years.

Children Deserve Space To Be Themselves

Kids will be kids, but as the parent, you have to be their number one supporter in whatever they choose to be. Through good and bad decision-making, you have to look at your child and provide them the space needed for them to learn how to understand their minds, emotions, and physical capabilities. When you give your child the room to practice authenticity, you may be surprised by what they are able to teach you about learning and understanding on personal levels. If you are ready to allow your child to explore themselves completely, reach out to one of our therapists who specialize in providing the comforting and open-armed space your child requires. 

Want to hear more on how to foster your child’s individuality and other topics related to parenting? Check out Dr. Buzanko’s new podcast Parents of the Year!