Finding the Good

Over the holidays I wrote a post about setting the intention to create Happy Holidays for yourself. On a walk with my mom yesterday, we chatted about setting our intentions and where we focus our attention. I believe there is a “field of possibilities” that we have control over.

If we focus on the positive things that are happening in our life, what do we experience? The positive. If we focus on the negative things that are happening in our life, what do we experience? The negative. Let’s say we have two people, person A, who is optimistic, and person B, who is pessimistic. I don’t believe any more good happens to person A or that any more bad happens to person B. They likely have the equal amount of positive and negative experiences. However, person A is able to see the good despite the bad. So they experience the good. Person B, however, is more sensitive to the negative experiences and becomes caught up in the bad, essentially wiping out the positive.

Each morning I woke up this past week, I set an intention to be patient, loving, grateful, and/or content. And I held that intention in mind throughout the day, which helped me remain grounded when dealing with my overly exhausted, overreacting, argumentative children. As soon as I got lost in the moment of my children’s fighting and lost my intention, I became easily frustrated and caught up in their drama. However, those times I remembered my intention, I was able to reset, take a step back, and manage the conflict effectively.

I recently began reading E Squared by Pam Grout, and she sets up a number of experiments to help you realize your ability to control the field. One experiment was to look butterflies. It being the end of December, in the cold Canadian winter, it seemed like a pipe dream. But, I set the intention that I would see butterflies and was confident I would. By 10:00 am I already saw 8 butterflies.

Tied back to parenting, it is really easy to see all the things our children are not doing or the things they are doing wrong. I challenge you to take this principle and try for yourself. You can start off easy by looking for a certain colour car through the day. Or better yet, start looking for all the positive things your children do throughout the day. This is usually where I start with parent sessions anyway: find the good.