Punishment. A tricky subject. I find that, more and more, parents have a hard time wrapping their heads around punishment. Or rather, not punishing their child. I often get a lot of push-back from parents about how their child has to be taught a lesson. That their child will otherwise “get away with it.” At the end of the day, punishment does nothing to teach our children. It may humiliate, frustrate, shame, upset, or demoralize our child. Punishment may fuel a child’s anxiety. Or dampen their self-esteem. It may even make a child resentful. Rather than thinking about what they did wrong and how to make it better, they may instead use that time brewing in anger and resentment and even thinking about how to seek revenge. I find punishment puts a wedge between us and our children. And punishment certainly does nothing to teach. Well, perhaps other than it is ok to yell, hit, or coerce others when they do not behave the way we want them to.
In the happiest of our childhood memories, our parents were happy, too.
– Robert Brault
Over the holidays I wrote a post about setting the intention to create Happy Holidays for yourself. On a walk with my mom yesterday, we chatted about setting our intentions and where we focus our attention. I believe there is a “field of possibilities” that we have control over.
I spent this past weekend at a hotel for my daughter’s ringette tournament. It was… well… chaos, to say the least. Little girls running around the hotel screaming, painting nails, painting banners, watching movies, exploding popcorn everywhere, and dunking each other in the pool; simply creating havoc everywhere they went. To add to the excitement, they severely lacked sleep. Which, of course, resulted in increased tears, whining, and general moodiness. Now, being exhausted myself and overwhelmed with the lack of work I was able to get done this weekend, I was to my limit.