Tag: Dr. Ross Greene

Punishment Doesn’t Teach

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Punishment. A tricky subject. I find that, more and more, parents have a hard time wrapping their heads around punishment. Or rather, not punishing their child. I often get a lot of push-back from parents about how their child has to be taught a lesson. That their child will otherwise “get away with it.” At the end of the day, punishment does nothing to teach our children. It may humiliate, frustrate, shame, upset, or demoralize our child. Punishment may fuel a child’s anxiety. Or dampen their self-esteem. It may even make a child resentful. Rather than thinking about what they did wrong and how to make it better, they may instead use that time brewing in anger and resentment and even thinking about how to seek revenge. I find punishment puts a wedge between us and our children. And punishment certainly does nothing to teach. Well, perhaps other than it is ok to yell, hit, or coerce others when they do not behave the way we want them to.

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